Annual: The Films of 2016 - Part IV
It's the Final Countdown
EVERYTHING I'VE SEEN IN 2016
10) Hell or High Water
On paper, Hell or High Water sounds like an average movie:
Two brothers in West Texas go bank robbing for their own personal reasons while a rusty old sheriff stays on their tail.
Sure, it's not Hollywood's first attempt at an original plot but High Water is also not a Hollywood film.
Cast to absolute perfection, the film depicts Ben Foster as the sleazy older brother Tanner, Chris Pine as the conflicted younger brother Toby, and Jeff Bridges as rusty sheriff Marcus Hamilton. These three alone make the film what it is. As gritty, dirty and humane as Hell gets; as notable as the remarkable showmanship of the atmospheric wastelands of Western Texas is, it is the cast which holds together this picture like glue. Foster seems a bit of a cartoon at first but his motivations driven by family and then his transformation, seemingly driven by nothing but greed, make him realistic enough to be a believable anti-hero (if you can even call him that). The real chemistry is between Bridges and Pine and there's something beautiful about the similarities between the two gunslingers. If I go too much into their history, it'll spoil some of the film but by the film's end, the dynamic between the young thief and the old, worn out sheriff are the reason to watch the film alone, if only because their characters follow such similar arcs even when they're both going through completely different situations. Toby (Pine) is robbing banks because he's just trying to raise enough money to do the right thing and Hamilton (Bridges) is in his last dog days as sheriff, trying to serve justice to criminals he can't catch. It's classic cat-and-mouse narrative but set in the gritty world of Western Texas, it just works here.
And the film is dirty; not so much in the sense that it's promiscuous more so in the result of the gritty, murderous atmosphere of Texas. The film is brilliant because it's staged in the modern day West as if it were the Old West and that's not just due to location. Everything about the setting and mood is dark and ominous like a neo-noir and gunslingers hang around every corner, unsuspectingly. The cowboy figures are really just icing onto an already unsettling, suspicious cake. The tone never once feels safe, from the film's opening bank robbery to the closing standoff between our characters; everyone is constantly on their toes and even the way the film is staged; the atmospheric shots; the unsettling pauses and silent moments; it's all built on suspense as if something big were about to implode at any given moment.
Bottom line: If there's one film High Water is reminiscent of, it's No Country For Old Men, yes because of the mid-West setting but more importantly because of the uneasy tone the film carries; the sense of life-threatening dread and even though the film features no clear villain like No Country, its characters resemble the same motives; the drive to steal; to provide; to justify; to kill. Hell or High Water is special because it revitalizes Western films, neo-noir films and films in general in ways that have been accomplished by nearly no other film in 2016 or even beyond that.
Grade: A
On paper, Hell or High Water sounds like an average movie:
Two brothers in West Texas go bank robbing for their own personal reasons while a rusty old sheriff stays on their tail.
Sure, it's not Hollywood's first attempt at an original plot but High Water is also not a Hollywood film.
Cast to absolute perfection, the film depicts Ben Foster as the sleazy older brother Tanner, Chris Pine as the conflicted younger brother Toby, and Jeff Bridges as rusty sheriff Marcus Hamilton. These three alone make the film what it is. As gritty, dirty and humane as Hell gets; as notable as the remarkable showmanship of the atmospheric wastelands of Western Texas is, it is the cast which holds together this picture like glue. Foster seems a bit of a cartoon at first but his motivations driven by family and then his transformation, seemingly driven by nothing but greed, make him realistic enough to be a believable anti-hero (if you can even call him that). The real chemistry is between Bridges and Pine and there's something beautiful about the similarities between the two gunslingers. If I go too much into their history, it'll spoil some of the film but by the film's end, the dynamic between the young thief and the old, worn out sheriff are the reason to watch the film alone, if only because their characters follow such similar arcs even when they're both going through completely different situations. Toby (Pine) is robbing banks because he's just trying to raise enough money to do the right thing and Hamilton (Bridges) is in his last dog days as sheriff, trying to serve justice to criminals he can't catch. It's classic cat-and-mouse narrative but set in the gritty world of Western Texas, it just works here.
And the film is dirty; not so much in the sense that it's promiscuous more so in the result of the gritty, murderous atmosphere of Texas. The film is brilliant because it's staged in the modern day West as if it were the Old West and that's not just due to location. Everything about the setting and mood is dark and ominous like a neo-noir and gunslingers hang around every corner, unsuspectingly. The cowboy figures are really just icing onto an already unsettling, suspicious cake. The tone never once feels safe, from the film's opening bank robbery to the closing standoff between our characters; everyone is constantly on their toes and even the way the film is staged; the atmospheric shots; the unsettling pauses and silent moments; it's all built on suspense as if something big were about to implode at any given moment.
Bottom line: If there's one film High Water is reminiscent of, it's No Country For Old Men, yes because of the mid-West setting but more importantly because of the uneasy tone the film carries; the sense of life-threatening dread and even though the film features no clear villain like No Country, its characters resemble the same motives; the drive to steal; to provide; to justify; to kill. Hell or High Water is special because it revitalizes Western films, neo-noir films and films in general in ways that have been accomplished by nearly no other film in 2016 or even beyond that.
Grade: A
9) Green Room
Arguably one of the more unexpected surprises of the year, Green Room takes all the expectations of a Hollywood movie and flips nearly all of them on their head leaving the audience with a taught, top notch, totally unpredictable thriller that does the ultimate tango with the horror movie genre, changing the style of what we thought we knew about murderous bloody revenge thrillers and creates something fresh, completely original and at times bat sh*t crazy.
When I refer to Green Room as flipping Hollywood expectations, I don't at all mean to call it a "Hollywood movie;" couldn't be further from the truth. The film is ironically more or less a low budget, very simplistic indie-style thriller that doesn't take much more than the brilliant cast and the barbaric minds behind a film as downright dirty and and delightful as that featured in Green Room.
When I refer to Green Room as flipping Hollywood expectations, I don't at all mean to call it a "Hollywood movie;" couldn't be further from the truth. The film is ironically more or less a low budget, very simplistic indie-style thriller that doesn't take much more than the brilliant cast and the barbaric minds behind a film as downright dirty and and delightful as that featured in Green Room.
To call the movie excellent is an understatement. Perhaps it's my desperate craving for good horror in a world of so much garbage filled with eye rolling jump scares ("NEXT" we all have the urge to shout as if this were some ugly pageant contest); perhaps it's also the fact that the movie is so masqueraded as not being a horror film that until a certain point, the film could play itself out as just a gritty little thriller that gets super original... Granted, people nearly hack other people's limbs off with machetes, vicious dogs eat people's faces and there's just good old fashioned killing people with guns and blades to the head. Make no mistake, it is definitely a horror film but it's also so concerned with the relatable atmosphere that looms around a young death metal band that dares to be dark but has no intention (or the faintest expectations) of getting caught up in a world as dark as the one trapped in the green room of death (really cute stuff).
The movie's about the closest thing to a punk rock holocaust since 1985's cult classic Return of the Living Dead, and has the most potential to be as revolutionary in the "rock n' roll horror" mashup genre since that time three decades ago. The film is littered with that feel of "punk rock," not just in the music but in the attitude of the film; characters are grungy, rebellious and bad-ass, whether they be caked in black makeup and screaming into the mic, or whether they be a heartless, rapey neo-natzi, ready to kill at any given moment. The cast brings these characters to life, despicable and delightful alike. Bottom line: It's not your average horror movie for more reasons than just feeling and embracing an atmosphere that screams punk rock.
There's a turning point early on in the script where band members become hostages and literally the entire tone of the film changes, making the atmosphere very reminiscent of Red State in the sense that a movie that very quickly could have turned into a forced, boundary-pushing excursion of torture and gore instead becomes an escapist thriller filled with cops, chases, murder, twists and turns every beat of the script and the beauty of it all is that characters get picked off left and right, no matter how important they seem. It's the kinda film that has balls to kill off just about anyone; pure, nail biting tension down to the very last frame.
But this jagged-edged thriller of killers doesn't go without mention of the bleeding heart and soul of its incredible cast and crew.
First shout out, tragically must go out to Anton Yelchin; the kid was younger than me when he was killed and while his last ever performance was nothing that will posthumously earn him an Oscar nomination, it's a small beam of light that showed how much range the kid had. He really sells it as the protagonist; he's totally believable and you just want him to win. The kid had a lot of talent going for him and Green Room showed a potential that could have bloomed him into something really special. Alas, GR is a phenomenal final note for the young, late actor to bow out on.
The rest of the cast is great; Alia Shawkat basically just plays Maeby (her Arrested Development role) which is her most memorable role to date but also very clearly just who she kinda is in real life. She's smug, cynical, sarcastic and yet has a very likable charm in her b*tchy attitude (she can also be very funny). The rest of the supporting cast is also believable but if there's one cast member to mention who's not Yelchin, it's Patrick Stewart.
Yeah; Professor X; Captain f**king Piccard; That Patrick Stewart.
If there's one reason; literally just one sole reason to watch Green Room, it's Stewart. You could replace the entire cast and as long as you kept Professor Patrick the movie would still hold up and I truly believe it's because his role here is unlike anything I've ever seen the man play.
Outside of Hollywood (X-Men, Star Trek, etc) he's got some memorable parts under his resume; from Shakespeare to Scrooge, Stewart's a well deserved actor who has gifted films with his presence again and again and he's never not a joy to watch. But what makes his role in Green Room so special is that Stewart plays the bad guy, and not just the bad guy; a f**king BRUTAL bad guy. Where in nearly all his films you love to love the guy, Stewart delivers in a way where you absolutely adore hating him. His character is a bastard; a tired, worn out bastard but a bastard nevertheless. While playing the part of the club owner who hires gigs such as that of our protagonist's doomed band, he sells himself as heartless; a man who cares not about the bloody result of a MASS group of people being slaughtered in his quiet club out in the middle of nowhere, but a man who cares about power, respect and doing what it takes to "get the job done," and the film almost entirely rests its shoulders on Stewart's performance. His character is dark; a sinister old man who has no boundaries but what makes him so terrifying is that he's not a slashing maniac in the woods as seen in typical horror films. Instead he portrays a simple old man who carries about his own business; like a kind but bitter grandfather who has his own cabin in the woods... That is if grandpa had a fetish for executing anyone who crossed his path. Stewart kills it (literally) and there's so much we end up not knowing about his character that the mystery he's shrouded in makes him ten times more terrifying than he has any right being. The man won't get nominated for his performance here but it's a great change of pace for his resume.
Bottom line: The movie is great all by itself. It's bold, ballsy, dark and fresh; It's exactly what the horror-thriller genre needs in order to be properly shaken up. It's got a tight script, swift direction; surrounded in a dark atmosphere that fits its roots, and Patrick Stewart is the icing on the cake. For a performance as good as his, I'd normally say he's the backbone of such a small but successful film as Green Room, but the film is already so good without him. He just helps give the film that extra push from good to great. Bottom line: we need more films like this.
Grade: A-
8) Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping
The Lonely Island: Andy Samberg, Jorma Taccone, Akiva Schaffer, making the ultimate comeback.
To even BEGIN to question Popstar you need to question pop-hip-hop satire group The Lonely Island and these three gentleman (most notably SNL alum, Andy Samberg). It's quite simple: If If you're a fan of TLI, Popstar is a required viewing; no questions asked. If you don't know TLI, Popstar MIGHT not be for you. Regardless, the end result goes way beyond simple comedy as this is one of the best satires on the music industry since This Is Spinal Tap and bar none THE funniest movie of 2016.
The victim at hand of said satire is Justin Bieber (it's about time too) and his excuse for his docu-movie Never Say Never. Samberg plays lead role Connor (stage name: Connor 4Real) and his take on Bieber is absolutely astounding. Playing the part of the meek but determined (and near mentally handicapped) man-child of Connor, Samberg completely embodies Bieber and I didn't realize how much so until I scoped out some YouTube interviews with the young, no-talent ass clown himself. To say that Samberg studied Bieber to get into character is an understatement. Everything about the way Samberg acts, speaks, raps; his mannerisms; the slight allusion to having asperbergs; every detail about the way he defines his character IS Biebes, down to the tattoos and stupid f**king haircut. If there's one aspect of the film that's impressive, it's Samberg's ability to transform himself into a sh**ty pop sensation.
But Popstar NEEDS to be talked about for so many reasons beyond Samberg. For one, anybody who has any knowledge of anything going on in the modern day music industry deserves to watch this. Save for the fact that it features one of the biggest list of musical cameo appearances in recent memory, the film's faux documentary style is perfected to comedy gold firing off interviews spliced with Connor's musical performances at rapid pace making the less-than-90-minute run time breeze by making you wish there was more.
As far as those musical performances go, if there's one aspect to highlight beyond nearly anything else about the film, it's the original soundtrack. If anyone's familiar with Lonely Island's style of music they'll have an idea of what to expect but the songs themselves couldn't prepare anyone for the sheer madness of satire on pop-culture music. On top of Bieber, the soundtrack also mocks Macklemore, Adam Levine, Seal and tons of other modern artists, all in the style of Island's zany and often far out music choices, tackling hot topics such as gay marriage, Bin Laden and Mona Lisa's overrated smile. As a bonus, beyond the number of full tracks that are played throughout the film (often during Connor's live performances), there are also tons of snippets of full songs which can be heard on the 20+ song soundtrack for the film. The effort that went into the absurd lyrics and production of the poppy soundtrack is as equally impressive (if not more) as thehigh quality music that comes on the radio today.
The movie is also funny as hell. Save for the fact that it'll make anyone nostalgic who's followed the Island since the days of Awesometown, Popstar manages to just be genuinely funny. Featuring some SNL alum and written-directed by TLI's own Akiva and Jorma, the movie is guaranteed to make anyone who caters to this kind of maniacal comedy laugh out loud (and often) in nearly every scene. The laughs are legitimately exhausting and nothing about the film ever feels like it overstays its welcome.
Bottom line: Whether you're a fan of The Lonely Island, Hot Rod, Samberg in general, or whether you just want to laugh at the idea of Justin Bieber being an actual person, Popstar is entirely worth the watch and it's a shame it'll never receive the credit it deserves. It's bound to become a cult classic over time because if anything it's proof that The Lonely Island has helped revolutionize the art of satire.
The Lonely Island: Andy Samberg, Jorma Taccone, Akiva Schaffer, making the ultimate comeback.
To even BEGIN to question Popstar you need to question pop-hip-hop satire group The Lonely Island and these three gentleman (most notably SNL alum, Andy Samberg). It's quite simple: If If you're a fan of TLI, Popstar is a required viewing; no questions asked. If you don't know TLI, Popstar MIGHT not be for you. Regardless, the end result goes way beyond simple comedy as this is one of the best satires on the music industry since This Is Spinal Tap and bar none THE funniest movie of 2016.
The victim at hand of said satire is Justin Bieber (it's about time too) and his excuse for his docu-movie Never Say Never. Samberg plays lead role Connor (stage name: Connor 4Real) and his take on Bieber is absolutely astounding. Playing the part of the meek but determined (and near mentally handicapped) man-child of Connor, Samberg completely embodies Bieber and I didn't realize how much so until I scoped out some YouTube interviews with the young, no-talent ass clown himself. To say that Samberg studied Bieber to get into character is an understatement. Everything about the way Samberg acts, speaks, raps; his mannerisms; the slight allusion to having asperbergs; every detail about the way he defines his character IS Biebes, down to the tattoos and stupid f**king haircut. If there's one aspect of the film that's impressive, it's Samberg's ability to transform himself into a sh**ty pop sensation.
But Popstar NEEDS to be talked about for so many reasons beyond Samberg. For one, anybody who has any knowledge of anything going on in the modern day music industry deserves to watch this. Save for the fact that it features one of the biggest list of musical cameo appearances in recent memory, the film's faux documentary style is perfected to comedy gold firing off interviews spliced with Connor's musical performances at rapid pace making the less-than-90-minute run time breeze by making you wish there was more.
As far as those musical performances go, if there's one aspect to highlight beyond nearly anything else about the film, it's the original soundtrack. If anyone's familiar with Lonely Island's style of music they'll have an idea of what to expect but the songs themselves couldn't prepare anyone for the sheer madness of satire on pop-culture music. On top of Bieber, the soundtrack also mocks Macklemore, Adam Levine, Seal and tons of other modern artists, all in the style of Island's zany and often far out music choices, tackling hot topics such as gay marriage, Bin Laden and Mona Lisa's overrated smile. As a bonus, beyond the number of full tracks that are played throughout the film (often during Connor's live performances), there are also tons of snippets of full songs which can be heard on the 20+ song soundtrack for the film. The effort that went into the absurd lyrics and production of the poppy soundtrack is as equally impressive (if not more) as the
The movie is also funny as hell. Save for the fact that it'll make anyone nostalgic who's followed the Island since the days of Awesometown, Popstar manages to just be genuinely funny. Featuring some SNL alum and written-directed by TLI's own Akiva and Jorma, the movie is guaranteed to make anyone who caters to this kind of maniacal comedy laugh out loud (and often) in nearly every scene. The laughs are legitimately exhausting and nothing about the film ever feels like it overstays its welcome.
Bottom line: Whether you're a fan of The Lonely Island, Hot Rod, Samberg in general, or whether you just want to laugh at the idea of Justin Bieber being an actual person, Popstar is entirely worth the watch and it's a shame it'll never receive the credit it deserves. It's bound to become a cult classic over time because if anything it's proof that The Lonely Island has helped revolutionize the art of satire.
Grade: B+/A-
7) Swiss Army Man
Think of the strangest movie you've ever seen; bar none. I'm talking weirdest, most bizarre, far out thing you've ever encountered in cinema. Whatever it may be, it still probably doesn't match the caliber of strange as that of Swiss Army Man.
To even begin to DESCRIBE the movie-going experience when encountering Swiss Army Man would be offensive to the film itself. Never in my hay day have I ever seen a premise and confident execution of bizarre antics such as this; a film so far out there that it literally needs to be seen to be believed.
To give you the gist:
Paul Dano is a man stranded on what appears to be a desert island when he encounters a farting corpse played by Daniel Radcliffe.
...Let's review.
Paul Dano (incredible actor btdubs) meets Daniel Radcliffe (who's literally trying as hard as humanly possible to give his post-Potter career the most unpredictable plot twist); Daniel Radcliffe whose character is already dead prior to the film's beginning, and that wasn't a typo back there... he plays a farting corpse.
Make no mistake. The film is filled with fart jokes but this is no Nutty Professor... I mean yes, Radcliffe's corpse farts throughout the entirety of the film and just when any moment gets too serious, the flatulent brings you back to reality... the reality of Paul Dano hanging out with a farting corpse.
But there's purpose to the farts! Aside from humor, Radcliffe's Manny acts as a life preserve for Dano's Hank, providing survival tactics from water to fire (it's how he provides these things that needs to be seen in order to be believed). The events that transpire (and the budding bromance) between man and corpse alike are some of the most hilariously outrageous occurrences I've seen in film, over the last few years and it was honestly captivating. I've literally never seen anything like it and just when I was on the brink of giving up with its out-of-left-field weirdness, it surprised me if not for sentimental value or holistic laughs then for the sheer curiosity of where the film was going to take me next. It never once lost my attention and it always had me perplexed by the bizarre personality of it all. It was strange; SO, so strange... But also very beautifully strange; strange and refreshing.
Honestly folks, I can't; I can't and I won't subject you to this madness. If I were to describe the film in detail, no one would give the film a chance but for the love of GOD give this movie a chance if for anything, for its sheer audacity to be as strange and blissfully bizarre as it is; watch it because someone had the confidence to make this film and someone believed in it enough to green-light it. Watch it because it dares to be different. My biggest complaint (and compliment) of movies in 2016 is that it's all more of the same. On the negative end of the spectrum it's been formulaic blockbusters; on the positive end of he spectrum it's been throwbacks to old Hollywood. But THIS MOVIE? It's unlike any other film I've seen this year and beyond that. Other films from 2016 could definitely be considered in the same ball park as SAM for sure; The Lobster and The Neon Demon took some liberties in their strange left turns no doubt, but nothing really compares to the head scratching ability SAM has to woo you in such a weird way (if you're willing to let it in).
I can see why 95% of the people who attempted this movie wouldn't be on board with it (if they could finish it). To say "it's not a movie for everyone" is just inappropriate. To find the people this movie IS for is the key mystery, and for complaining that movies feel so much so "the same," I will truly not criticize the mediocrity of unoriginal story lines in film anymore. If Swiss Army Man has taught me one thing (besides all the the beautifully weird life lessons and laugh-out-loud moments it has to offer) it's that the original ideas are out there. They're just obscure, bizarre and often very hidden amidst the rubble of conformity in film. Call it pretentious but even the idea of something like SAM getting green-lit is something of a miracle. Watch it for the sole fact that you won't have seen anything like it.
Bottom line: From its outrageous opening scene (and arguably the best introduction to a movie in 2016) to its equally bizarre final moments, the film (like its characters) is often never quite sure of its purpose. It feels lost and doesn't have a clear vision or moral of what it's trying to say. That said, it's often one of the funnier movies of the year and I'll be damned if this movie doesn't have some f**king heart and soul. For a movie featuring a farting corpse for a main character, it's got more life and bigger personality to it than the majority of what I've seen in 2016.
Swiss Army Man is something to behold and cherish if anything because it caters to the weird and deranged first and foremost. There's literally not a movie on the planet quite like it and it'll be rare to find something this bizarre in film anytime soon.
Grade: B+/A-
6) The Neon Demon
Nicholas Winding Refn is a foreign filmmaker who is the equivalent of a demented, coked out Norse god of art house films and I've seen no other resume of work with the weird, far-out, bat-sh*t crazy (in)consistency that this man continues to put out. He's perfected his bizarro craft and is on his way to being one of the more notable filmmakers of the new millennium (though next to no one will ever know who he is).
This ecstatic feeling of adoration for such a sickly, twisted mind of movies is exactly why his films are so incredibly divided. Without the split criticism, the effect of his films wouldn't hold enough water. Yet it's because the man does something so controversial and so completely different with film making that most people tend to not understand it; they're disturbed by it; they're taken aback by it, therefore they quickly dislike it and dismiss it, but it's that exact spite and hatred for this misunderstood world of "pseudo-sexual dark-art film making" (if you will) that makes these particular films from such a particular film maker such a pleasure to watch; that makes the experience so radically unique and so unbelievably worthwhile that unless you see the films in that specific light, you'll be considered a crazy person (case in point 🙋).
This ecstatic feeling of adoration for such a sickly, twisted mind of movies is exactly why his films are so incredibly divided. Without the split criticism, the effect of his films wouldn't hold enough water. Yet it's because the man does something so controversial and so completely different with film making that most people tend to not understand it; they're disturbed by it; they're taken aback by it, therefore they quickly dislike it and dismiss it, but it's that exact spite and hatred for this misunderstood world of "pseudo-sexual dark-art film making" (if you will) that makes these particular films from such a particular film maker such a pleasure to watch; that makes the experience so radically unique and so unbelievably worthwhile that unless you see the films in that specific light, you'll be considered a crazy person (case in point 🙋).
For mainstream moviegoers, it's not your job nor your passion; not even your slightest interest to seek out little, unknown, quiet, seemingly pretentious and possibly suicide-worthy films such as The Neon Demon. I'm willing to bet most people out there don't even know what it is. In fact, the only film from the director's resume that anyone will probably recognize (let alone even remotely like) is Drive, which can be argued is Refn's most mainstream film; an ironic statement considering even that gem of 2011 is still considered to be a controversial piece of art house trash (and if you can sit through Only God Forgives, you can handle any of the director's gloriously filthy work).
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Which brings us to The Neon Demon; a film so gleefully bizarre; so wacky but so hauntingly beautiful to take in, I've literally not seen another caliber of film this quite like this, in 2016 (Swiss Army Man may take the crown in the "most strange" category but only just by a few hairs).
While it's not the best movie of the year (you'll understand why if you dare to watch it), it's easily one of the more ambitious. Perhaps it's literally just a result of getting older and becoming desensitized to all the loud garbage in movies but it's nice to take a weird step into a visionary director's mind of all kinds of artistically f**ked up choices, for a change. Refn's approach to Demon is unlike that of most directors. With a pitch as simple as "Elle Fanning becomes a model and tumbles down a dark rabbit hole; lots of bat-sh*t crazy stuff happens," Refn simply takes things in directions you don't expect, nor do you necessarily want to go.
With a recurring theme (and repeated line of dialogue) "are you food or are you sex?" Refn's characters give whole new (and almost comical) meaning to the word 'desire.' What this lunatic of a director does with his depiction of female models is both degrading yet absolutely fabulous. Mind you the film is entirely centered around catty women out to get each other because one's more beautiful than the other but what Refn does with the craft of film making; the way he exploits female sexuality, it's as if he's capturing a pornographic horror film, but not a (completely) trashy one; a visually transpiring pornographic horror film. If you can buy into the nonsense, it's a very hypnotic film that you sort of feel bad for watching; the most beautiful kind of train wreck where you literally can't look away; a film that's hard to escape no matter how much you end up loving or hating the final product.
Young, innocent Elle Fanning plays the simplistic part of Jesse, a 16-year-old model who's apparently too beautiful for her own good. Her beauty completely mesmerizes anyone and everyone she comes into contact with, making the other competitive, less-pretty models angry and out for blood (plot!). And while the all-female cast (plus one creepy Keanu Reeves as a sketchy motel owner) does plenty with the roles they're given, it's Refn who continues to stretch the threshold beyond any limits you can imagine.
While any normal, sane director can do plenty of "been there done that" with such a thin plot, NWR focuses his energy on every single lingering moment, showcasing the enchantment and power of feminine beauty and the absolute horrors it will lead to if driven by greed and jealously, blah blah blah (morals!). But what Refn has been known for, even before his Drive days, is milking every possible drawn out moment right up until the point where the audience is about the lose their minds and swear off his movies permanently (it's all about that threshold).
His films require patience but they also require an acceptance of the slow burning ridiculousness of the world he presents in film; it's a complete fantasy land.
For example, where Jesse does her "catwalk" scene, like I said, MOST sane directors would portray the young model... ya know, walking down a catwalk; strutting some fancy outfit; judges take pictures; people in the crowd going "ooh" and "ah." No... What REFN DOES with the "catwalk" scene is closer to a more promiscuous take of the tunnel-boat scene in Willy Wonka than anything else.
Jesse walks slowly crawls through pure darkness; the overbearing house music thumps behind her; she's drawn to a neon lit shape that appears to be a cross between the Illuminati and the Star of David; she's mesmerized by it (a reflection of Refn's work no doubt), inching ever so slowly until she sees a reflection of herself in the shape; she inches towards it, the music growing louder and eerier; finally, she slowly puts her open mouth on the reflection depicting the image of Elle making out with herself.
... Yeah, it's really weird, and weird is definitely Refn's thing.
... Yeah, it's really weird, and weird is definitely Refn's thing.
This is just barely scratching the surface by the way. We're talking about a movie that's depicting a dark message on modeling of all things; a movie with evil, blonde, walking Chanel billboards as the villains; a movie where Keanu Reeves violently reacts to his young motel guests as "Lolita" types; a movie that depicts jealousy, sexuality and lesbian fetishes in ways you don't want to imagine, not to mention one of the most grotesque uses of a corpse and one of the most gruesomely insane endings that's literally impossible to see coming. And while the movie ends just as it begins to enter fantastically silly B-movie-territory, it wouldn't have worked had it ended a moment sooner or later. It ends just where it needs to.
And in the end, what's undeniable is the film's artistically stylized film aspects. Save for the fact that this is a movie about modeling, Refn carefully frames every shot in such a specifically unique way that's simply stunning to gaze upon (the "gold-paint photo shoot" scene is the film's first legitimate visual hook); the cinematography and color schemes alone are electrifying (you could watch it on mute and still be amazed), yet Cliff Martinez produces an energetic soundtrack that fits the trashy scenery of the modeling "night life," while creating something that sounds equally haunting and hypnotizing. The stylistic choices stand out more than MOST other films this year, even if those flashy elements are more savory than the actual story itself. But Refn knew what he was doing when he made The Neon Demon. He lingers for too long or creates unintentionally funny moments because he's constantly trying to push the audience (where he's trying to push us is the million dollar question). He doesn't want to keep the audience feeling safe and by the last twenty minutes, his slow burn build of a trashy, beautiful film becomes something chaotic but something to behold.
I'm not going to argue that anybody can enjoy themselves if they're not absolutely consumed by and completely bought into the nature of these strange and controversial art house films; films that are literally almost remotely unlikable to nearly everyone outside of this weird, dark bubble of pretentious film making. In fact, I'm sort of saying that audiences sincerely must blindly buy into the pretentiousness of it all, simply so their eyes can be opened and they can fully understand the empire of weird work from a guy as f**ked in the head as Nicholas Winding Refn, even when the audience can accept that behind much of the glamorous treatment is glorious trash.
Bottom line: NWR isn't just a visual entrepreneur of a film maker; he's a twisted artist who wants to drag your soul to the darkest depths of madness and take his sweet time in escorting you there. No, The Neon Demon is not your ideal film for 'casual movie night,' but at least its mad hatter of a writer-director was ballsy enough to attempt to give audiences something creatively different for a change, and while it's no Drive, Neon Demon is easily one of the most beautifully enchanting portrayals of trash I've seen in a long time. I mean, it's a movie about models trying to sadistically conquer and consume one another; it's gorgeous to look at and electrifying to listen to. You're not gonna see much like it this year.
Grade: A-
5) Deadpool
NO SURPRISES HERE.
(Here's the long version.)
In a cesspool of modern day comic book movies, this is the 'Pool we needed the most.
Yes, America, Deadpool is the answer to mainstream blockbuster garbage in movies; a response to formulaic comic book movies that take themselves far too seriously. In a cynical age of sequel after remake after reboot, Deadpool is the middle finger to a society where we've accepted crap for comic book movies in the new millennium (and the new millennium is old enough to drive, so it's been a minute); DP is vulgar, violent, filthy, meta, and it wears its R-rating proudly; It's the movie us comic book fans have been begging for.
But Deadpool's not just notable because it's gleefully explicit; it's also ironically well crafted. Because it's so incredibly meta, the film is never taking itself seriously. With DP completely breaking the fourth wall (narrating scenes, addressing the audience, addressing continuity errors in the X-Men films, etc), we're instantly transported inside the film not just as an audience member watching a film but as a tourist being guided through Deadpool's filthy, outrageous thoughts. The whole movie is a 90 minute pun and it's all intentional. Just when we get sucked in to any of the plot or characters, 'Pool's absurd voice-over ropes us back into the metaphysical, hilariously inane world he lives in, and the world 'Pool lives in entirely belongs to Ryan Reynolds first and foremost.
With a snappy, zany script and Tim Miller's astoundingly playful direction, Deadpool would have been successful regardless. But the beating heart and soul of this project begins and ends with Reynolds. After being treated so poorly as the mutant-hybrid version of 80s Pool in the 2009 X-Men Origins: Wolverine, one thing was clear amidst the disaster of that bombshell: Reynolds was born to play this role. With his charming, smug, cynical attitude, Reynolds has always been Deadpool; in Waiting, in Van Wilder, in Blade Trinity (bet you forgot that was a movie). The embodiment of the obnoxious character of Deadpool IS Reynolds in every role; in every possible way and Reynolds not only plays the part to absolute perfection but from helping develop the script to stealing the iconic red costume to film personal promos for the film, Reynolds worked his ass off to make this movie exactly what it is and the final product is a reward for every true Pool fan out there.
And aside from it being an incredibly violent, entertaining middle finger to a generation of mind numbing comic book movies, the movie is also funny as hell. I did deem Popstar the funniest comedy of 2016 but Deadpool has taken the crown of funniest comic book movie of all time, no question. Without the humor, the "serious" moments fall flat and the self aware, smug attitude just doesn't work but luckily for fans living in this humorless post-Dark Knight era of comic book movies, DP is consistently rude, vulgar and filled with laugh-out-loud moments from the brilliant opening-title segment to the post-credits scene that mocks a former cult classic film, shot for shot.
Bottom line: The movie is silly and self aware but that's Deadpool; it's sheer brilliance and it's a complete game changer for comic book movies (it helped the final Wolverine film receive the highly anticipated R-rating for starters). If you're looking for The Dark Knight, this AIN'T the place to start. If you're looking for Ryan Reynolds stroking an old, blind woman's face with a deformed baby hand, you'll be right at home, but for
Grade: A-
4) The Nice Guys
Amidst all the mediocrity, one of the most common themes of 2016's keepers has been "they don't make 'em like this anymore." From La La Land's throwback to old Hollywood to the depiction of an actual quality WWII movie in Hacksaw Ridge, directors have been harking back to the glory days of Hollywood and what a more glorious time to dwell upon than the world of drugs, hookers and crooked cops of 1970s L.A?
Watching The Nice Guys is like watching In Bruges meets L.A. Confidential and that's not due to the movie taking place in 70's L.A. nor is it due to the fact that both L.A. and Nice Guys star Russell Crowe. The Nice Guys isn't just funny (it's often hilarious); it's revolutionary in the sense of redefining the buddy-cop genre almost entirely. Not since the days of Lethal Weapon has the "buddy-cop" been this good and the issue is that no one seems to know exactly what kind of genre they've been attempting to peg these last few decades. The Rush Hour movies did a decent job at balancing comedy and action in the early 2000s but as of late, most movies attempting to fuse the two genres end up being failed Kevin Hart comedies that go for cheap laughs rather than do anything with the genre.
Shane Black on the other hand is an experienced entrepreneur with this kind of genre-mashing. He's no stranger to the world of gun-toting action and legitimate (often dark) belly laughs. He brings black humor to film and exploits raw chemistry, often pinning up tough guys with idiotic comic reliefs. As with his breakout 2005 hit Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Black revives the world of bumbling fools becoming inevitable heroes and offers literally one of the director's best movies, resting on the shoulders of its two proud leads.
One wouldn't think to ever pair super-serious burly man; Oscar winner Russell Crowe with the likes of suave, charming Ryan Gosling but the gods of cinema smiled the day they were finally united and I gotta hand it to 'em. They knock this one out of the damned park. Between Crowe's hard-ass, takes-no-sh*t attitude, and Gosling's charismatic buffoonery, the two were written to be in a true buddy comedy, in its purest form. Crowe plays the tough guy and hardly cracks a smile during the entire film, where Gosling is somewhat of a Marx Brother in his remarkably talented ability to fall down, get hurt, and contort his body amidst the duo's endless conundrums.
The whole thing works really well because it never forces either side of the genre. The action is never too dramatic and the comedy is never forced. The only thing that's a bit excessive is the use of Gosling's character's daughter. Not that I have anything against kids but the twelve-or-so-year-old actress gets almost as much screen time as the two leads and she's never as much fun to watch. That being said, she doesn't water down the film at all. With car chases, break-ins, shootouts and kidnapped porn stars the film is exciting but the reason the film works is Shane Black's branch of humor. The pace of his films are tight, quick and often laugh-out-loud funny. There are bits in the film that don't even have to do with plot; just random occurrences to throw you into Black's crazy world of shenanigans as a reminder not to get too wrapped up in the drama.
Amidst all the mediocrity, one of the most common themes of 2016's keepers has been "they don't make 'em like this anymore." From La La Land's throwback to old Hollywood to the depiction of an actual quality WWII movie in Hacksaw Ridge, directors have been harking back to the glory days of Hollywood and what a more glorious time to dwell upon than the world of drugs, hookers and crooked cops of 1970s L.A?
Watching The Nice Guys is like watching In Bruges meets L.A. Confidential and that's not due to the movie taking place in 70's L.A. nor is it due to the fact that both L.A. and Nice Guys star Russell Crowe. The Nice Guys isn't just funny (it's often hilarious); it's revolutionary in the sense of redefining the buddy-cop genre almost entirely. Not since the days of Lethal Weapon has the "buddy-cop" been this good and the issue is that no one seems to know exactly what kind of genre they've been attempting to peg these last few decades. The Rush Hour movies did a decent job at balancing comedy and action in the early 2000s but as of late, most movies attempting to fuse the two genres end up being failed Kevin Hart comedies that go for cheap laughs rather than do anything with the genre.
Shane Black on the other hand is an experienced entrepreneur with this kind of genre-mashing. He's no stranger to the world of gun-toting action and legitimate (often dark) belly laughs. He brings black humor to film and exploits raw chemistry, often pinning up tough guys with idiotic comic reliefs. As with his breakout 2005 hit Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Black revives the world of bumbling fools becoming inevitable heroes and offers literally one of the director's best movies, resting on the shoulders of its two proud leads.
One wouldn't think to ever pair super-serious burly man; Oscar winner Russell Crowe with the likes of suave, charming Ryan Gosling but the gods of cinema smiled the day they were finally united and I gotta hand it to 'em. They knock this one out of the damned park. Between Crowe's hard-ass, takes-no-sh*t attitude, and Gosling's charismatic buffoonery, the two were written to be in a true buddy comedy, in its purest form. Crowe plays the tough guy and hardly cracks a smile during the entire film, where Gosling is somewhat of a Marx Brother in his remarkably talented ability to fall down, get hurt, and contort his body amidst the duo's endless conundrums.
The whole thing works really well because it never forces either side of the genre. The action is never too dramatic and the comedy is never forced. The only thing that's a bit excessive is the use of Gosling's character's daughter. Not that I have anything against kids but the twelve-or-so-year-old actress gets almost as much screen time as the two leads and she's never as much fun to watch. That being said, she doesn't water down the film at all. With car chases, break-ins, shootouts and kidnapped porn stars the film is exciting but the reason the film works is Shane Black's branch of humor. The pace of his films are tight, quick and often laugh-out-loud funny. There are bits in the film that don't even have to do with plot; just random occurrences to throw you into Black's crazy world of shenanigans as a reminder not to get too wrapped up in the drama.
The 70s setting certainly also helps set the mood and make the film feel even more nostalgic than Black's craft already lets on. The way that he makes the film feel like an instant buddy-cop classic, even before the end of the film's run time, is something to savor. It honestly feels closer to something like Midnight Run; a film that no matter how far and wide the characters travel in their zany plot, their clash and chemistry keep things entertaining whether it's during a car chase or whether our heroes are punching through glass doors or falling down hills at parties.
Bottom line: The Nice Guys feels like a film lost in time; it's reminiscent of the glory days of buddy cop movies from the 80s. Upon one viewing, it instantly feels like a classic movie worthy of multiple viewings truly feeling like they literally don't make movies like this anymore (not comedies anyway). Hats off to Russell Crowe for proving he's actually funny when using dry humor. Hats off to Gosling who seems to just be having a great year in general, and all the hats off to Shane Black; a rare breed of comedy directors with such a unique style and knows exactly what he's going for with each of his films.
Bottom line: The Nice Guys feels like a film lost in time; it's reminiscent of the glory days of buddy cop movies from the 80s. Upon one viewing, it instantly feels like a classic movie worthy of multiple viewings truly feeling like they literally don't make movies like this anymore (not comedies anyway). Hats off to Russell Crowe for proving he's actually funny when using dry humor. Hats off to Gosling who seems to just be having a great year in general, and all the hats off to Shane Black; a rare breed of comedy directors with such a unique style and knows exactly what he's going for with each of his films.
Grade: A-
3) The Witch
If you want my full thoughts on The Witch, please refer to my full thoughts on The Witch. If not, I will keep this light and simple and the world will spin on aimlessly.
The Witch is not just brilliant but as a film it is almost flawless (key word: almost). It tackles any and every angle covering the mythology on witchcraft dating back to the 1600s and snowballs it all together in a dark, brooding, stretched buildup in what is one of the most uneasy and disturbingly tense thrillers I've seen in a long, long time.
I think what impressed me the most with the film was how unlike other horror films it was. Horror is just so cheap these days relying on loud music and pop-up scares to get a quick jolt out of the audience... That's just not horror. True horror in its prime is the living element that crawls within your soul and makes you uneasy; literally disturbs your spirit to the point of nausea; a feeling instilled from the likes of serial killers, demons, other supernatural forces (in this case witches), and wow. What The Witch does with its snail-crawling-build of tension is so drawn out and so hauntingly uneasy that you almost forget it's a horror film.
If anything, The Witch is a period piece. The attention to detail regarding life in the 1600s is absolutely stunning, from the naturally lit cinematography to the legit, remote location in a small village surrounded by nothing but creepy-ass woods. The film works so well because it never demands anything more than what it presents in order to scare you. It relies solely on long, drawn out pauses and quiet moments; children wandering in the woods; branches snapping; winds howling; goats goating (WHATEVER THAT MEANS). *Side note: the film uses a real, authentic goat and what the goat can do is insanely impressive. The film is so dependent on what the plot's not doing that when the plot does creep up on you, it's incredibly effective. Instead the movie relies totally on atmosphere; those long, brooding, tension-filled moments. Ironically it's these aspects that make the film completely terrifying and the same aspects which made people with fly-sized attention spans write off the film as "boring."
No kids, this is no Blair Witch. Until the last twenty minutes there's almost no adrenaline-filled moments of "scary." The film instead follows one heavily religious family and we the audience follow the unseen forces of evil tear the entire family apart from the inside, one by one.
And honestly, the actors are so good that by focusing on just the family, the film never requires a need for other characters. Sure there are other characters even if only for one scene at a time but it's the primary family which we relate to and feel so terrified by when they begin to lose all of their faith, in God and themselves. The film is like a winding clock, slowly ticking but filled with tons of slow moving parts which bring it all together and with the exception of the last five minutes, the film unwinds those mechanics until that fear has instilled and settled into your soul.
Dramatic I know, and such a shame so many people flog the movie for being slow and boring but then again, we are living in an age where Fast & Furious 7 is a top grossing film; Patience and perseverance is not the common moviegoer's strongest suit these days.
The only one criticism the film truly has is during the film's closing minutes. Without spoiling, the film plays with the fictional aspects of witchcraft; the plot mechanisms that completely tear down that wall between reality and fantasy. The reason it had me going for nearly all of the film's run time is that until a point it was so believable. The reason the movie is truly terrifying is because nearly ALL of it is plausible. It put me in such a sweat because it made me truly believe in the idea of evil; not demons; not the devil; the embodiment of evil. And it was all because everything happening on screen was so damn believable... Then the ending comes and I'm like "oh 'ight, never mind..." So again, without spoiling, let me just say that if the film cut to black before the last five minutes; hell, the last two... Or even the last thirty seconds.... The movie would have been ranked in the number one or two spot. Granted, it's still damn near-flawless.
Bottom line: For what it is, it's not worth missing; especially for the legitimate horror fans. This ain't some pop-out, fake sh*t to make you jump without subtext. This film is LEGIT. It crawls under your skin and stays there. It was impressively shot with natural lighting, directed by a first-time director with a fairly unknown cast, and EVERYONE knocks it out of the park. The film is not bogged down by Hollywood tropes and predictable plot points. It's a slow burn thriller which takes its sweet time toying with your poor, tortured soul. The film feels fresh and it's legitimately one of the best takes on witchcraft I've EVER seen. It may not get too gory, but it's extremely creepy; an aspect that's been absent from too many horror films these days.
Grade: A
La La Land takes first place in my books (not much of a shocker, I know) but that said this was also bar none the MOST I've ever struggled with a definitive movie ranking reminding me that as much garbage as I thought was out there in 2016, so much of it was on the same glorious plateau.
That's no exaggeration either. The top 15 interchanged so much these past couple months (often on a DAILY basis) that I was truly tested, especially when it came to determining a movie's rank based on personal favoritism over just how GOOD a movie was. La La Land wasn't necessarily my FAVORITE movie of 2016 (I certainly find Deadpool more entertaining) but I'd be blind and ignorant to deny the sheer talent involved in making LLL as superb as it truly is. That said, 10 Cloverfield Lane fought hard for my #1 spot and The Witch made me proud to be a fan of horror movies again. Every day was a daily struggle to try and keep Arrival in the top ten without pushing Swiss Army Man towards the back of the line. Manchester jumped in and out of the top 10 as well and for a while, Hell or High Water was in the top 5.
Regardless, THIS is the order and I'm sticking to it.
Does any of this make sense? No, but it's a beautiful thing to see just how far my brain will take the limits to evaluate this cruel, impossible world of ranking in film domination.
These are my opinions, friends. Every year I stray further from sanity but I think we're really onto something here. Not sure what it is but it's something glorious. Thank Who for the movies.
2017 wishlist:
Though much of this list will be inevitably underwhelming, no doubt.
Still, the world of cinema will spin on until we all die.
2) 10 Cloverfield Lane
To get a completely in-depth analysis of my pure insanity in covering the surprise semi Cloverfield spin-off, please refer to my full breakdown on the film. It covers all my bases as to why exactly I feel this tight, taught little hostage thriller is legitimately one of the best films of 2016.
To get a completely in-depth analysis of my pure insanity in covering the surprise semi Cloverfield spin-off, please refer to my full breakdown on the film. It covers all my bases as to why exactly I feel this tight, taught little hostage thriller is legitimately one of the best films of 2016.
Because I've already made so much word vomit regarding this glorious movie, I will spare you the usual chunks of paragraphs and break down the chunks of what you need to know.
First, for a movie that deems itself related to the 2008 smash hit; handy cam monster movie breakout Cloverfield, this movie simply has no right being as good as it is. It held the number one spot for nearly the entire year and with a small, astute execution as quality as 10CL, it's a reminder that films this good is hard to come by. With only three cast members, they all nail it but it's John Goodman who reminds us how terrifyingly good he is and how good he is at being terrifying.
First, for a movie that deems itself related to the 2008 smash hit; handy cam monster movie breakout Cloverfield, this movie simply has no right being as good as it is. It held the number one spot for nearly the entire year and with a small, astute execution as quality as 10CL, it's a reminder that films this good is hard to come by. With only three cast members, they all nail it but it's John Goodman who reminds us how terrifyingly good he is and how good he is at being terrifying.
First time director Daniel Trachtenberg teams up with fanboy JJ Abrams and what they do with the script is tight, lean and straight to the point. What begins as a little hostage thriller ends up being one of the more tension filled films of 2016 and the way Trachtenberg creates that tension harks back to the Hitchcockian days of pure suspense in cinema.
The film is small but glorious. The camera work and the direction is astute, constantly building frame by frame to a completely unexpected ending. The script chugs along and even when it feels slow, it's crucial to the film's plot and characters. Trachtenberg knows how to leave Easter eggs as good as Abrams did for 2008's Cloverfield and the fact that this new film is related to the original in nearly no way, shape or form does not detract from the craft that went into making one of the more memorable thrillers of the year.
The film is not only smaller yet better than the original Cloverfield but it opens a gateway to the Cloverfield universe as a thrilling anthology series; something you never would have wished for when you watched a monster destroy manhattan through a handy-cam nearly a decade ago.
Bottom line: It may wear the title but don't even look at it as a Cloverfield movie. Just view it as an experimental film that harks back to the small, well crafted films from the glory days of cinema. If not, take it as a reminder at how good John Goodman really is. The man could be nominated for Best Supporting Actor and no one would be mad if he took it home come Oscar night. If you're not gonna watch it as a brilliant edge-of-your-seat thriller, watch it for Goodman.
Grade: A-
1) La La Land
GET THOSE EYES ROLLIN'.
THAT. JUST. HAPPENED.
Guys...
I never thought it would happen but for Gosling's sake here we are. I had a FEELING it would happen but I didn't think it would become a certainty... Yet for a film as flashy, showy; as song-and-dance; as f**king Broadway as it is, and as purely gay as it gets (gay as in the 60s, musically 'gleeful' sense, not in the derogatory sense [come on folks, IT'S 2017]), La La Land is, from what I've seen, the BEST film of 2016, hands down and by a pretty long shot too. It's also not just the best of 2016 but in terms of what it's going for in the musical sense, it's one of the best movies of its entire genre.
It is here I surrender my manhood and I surrender it proudly. No amount of sports and testosterone will diminish the fact that I was completely mesmerized by this godforsaken, beautiful movie. I've had such a crushing weight that 2016 just hasn't been a great year for movies; it happens. Of COURSE you have your heartbreaking Manchesters by the sea; you have your coming out coming of age Moonlights, of COURSE. of course......... But MAYBE... maaaybe... 2016 also featured a lot of sloppy comic book movies and garbage sequels that nobody asked for. 2016 certainly wasn't a bad year for movies; hell everything in my top 15 at are worth watching at LEAST once in my eyes, for one reason or another. That being said, there's kinda been a gaping hole this year.
2014 saw Birdman, Whiplash, Grand Budapest Hotel, f**king GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY.
2015 had The Revenant, Hateful Eight, new Star Wars. 2015 had MAD MAX, which is arguably one of the greatest movies of ALL TIME.
2016 just... didn't really cut it the way the last few years have. That being said, I feel this Ryan Gosling-shaped hole in my heart has been filled with La La Land (Gosling should just leave Eva Mendes at this point and devote his life to singing and swooning audiences, let's be honest) and the lack of caliber in film this year that's THIS level of quality is part of why I'm reacting so strongly to this silly, bubbly musical.
2014 saw Birdman, Whiplash, Grand Budapest Hotel, f**king GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY.
2015 had The Revenant, Hateful Eight, new Star Wars. 2015 had MAD MAX, which is arguably one of the greatest movies of ALL TIME.
2016 just... didn't really cut it the way the last few years have. That being said, I feel this Ryan Gosling-shaped hole in my heart has been filled with La La Land (Gosling should just leave Eva Mendes at this point and devote his life to singing and swooning audiences, let's be honest) and the lack of caliber in film this year that's THIS level of quality is part of why I'm reacting so strongly to this silly, bubbly musical.
AND HOW DAMNED BUBBLY IT IS.
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Everything and I mean every astounding detail in La La Land is crafted to absolute perfection; the original soundtrack is remarkable; the dance choreography is magnificent; the camera tricks and cinematography is breathtaking. EVERY frame of this film is treated like a canvas and the whole experience honestly knocked me off my f**king feet.
It actually took nearly an entire 24 hours for it to sit because I so badly wanted to be in denial about how much I loved this movie but dammit, it's just that good. And as I've noted with other films this year, the most impressive aspect is the throwback to old Hollywood, except no other film does it like La La Land. The most common response to this film has been "they don't make 'em like this anymore," and this is probably the truest case I've seen in a film since 2011's The Artist, which is funny considering more than any other film; more than any musical I could compare it to, La La Land FEELS the most like The Artist and I truly believe it's because we're witnessing a miraculous rejuvenation of classic film.
While The Artist pays homage to old, silent black & white pictures, LLL pays homage to the big, flashy showy days of old musical tunes. The spirit of the film feels the most like Singin' In The Rain (not just because someone sings and swings around a light post). The way the characters interact; the way their chemistry crackles in their song and dance, it feels old fashioned and it's magnificent. I'm not even gonna lie to you. There's LITERALLY no other film like it, not of recent memory anyway. Sure you can make the argument that post-millennium musical films like Les Mis (2013) or Chicago are helping keep the spirit of musicals in film alive but not since Moulin Rouge has a musical on film felt so original (and Moulin Rouge is the one that's famous for covering famous songs as their soundtrack).
Bottom line: LLL is miraculous because as much of a throwback it is, it all feels so new. Save for the fact that all the glorious, original music was performed and sung by the incredible leads, Gosling and Emma Stone (both of whom will probably get nominated. Gosling learned jazz piano in like a week for this movie), the way the film is crafted and structured is instantly timeless yet feels remarkably fresh. Of course the plot helps in wanting to serve two young traditionalist people in L.A. who want to break into showbiz (Stone wants to become an actress; Gosling wants to become a jazz musician). The plot mechanisms are also reminiscent to The Artist in that sense, in that both films are about artists trying to revive a dying art. The not-so-subtle imagery and metaphors for modern day Hollywood are too rich to deny.
No really. BOTTOM LINE: Stop being in denial. Stop calling it overrated. Just stop talking. It doesn't matter how much you're "not a musical person." Stop what you're doing and find this movie. It's incredible and it's a love letter to traditional Hollywood in its purest form. It's an homage to classic film with astounding visuals, a truly original soundtrack and song-and-dance sequences that give Broadway a run for its money. Hollywood's gonna love this damn thing and as I've stated, this film's gonna win Best Picture. I'll be shocked if it doesn't.
Grade: A+
AND THERE YOU HAVE IT, FOLKS.
La La Land takes first place in my books (not much of a shocker, I know) but that said this was also bar none the MOST I've ever struggled with a definitive movie ranking reminding me that as much garbage as I thought was out there in 2016, so much of it was on the same glorious plateau.
That's no exaggeration either. The top 15 interchanged so much these past couple months (often on a DAILY basis) that I was truly tested, especially when it came to determining a movie's rank based on personal favoritism over just how GOOD a movie was. La La Land wasn't necessarily my FAVORITE movie of 2016 (I certainly find Deadpool more entertaining) but I'd be blind and ignorant to deny the sheer talent involved in making LLL as superb as it truly is. That said, 10 Cloverfield Lane fought hard for my #1 spot and The Witch made me proud to be a fan of horror movies again. Every day was a daily struggle to try and keep Arrival in the top ten without pushing Swiss Army Man towards the back of the line. Manchester jumped in and out of the top 10 as well and for a while, Hell or High Water was in the top 5.
Regardless, THIS is the order and I'm sticking to it.
*EPILOGUE*
Does any of this make sense? No, but it's a beautiful thing to see just how far my brain will take the limits to evaluate this cruel, impossible world of ranking in film domination.
These are my opinions, friends. Every year I stray further from sanity but I think we're really onto something here. Not sure what it is but it's something glorious. Thank Who for the movies.
*END OF EPILOGUE*
2017 wishlist:
- The Founder
- Split
- John Wick: Chapter 2
- The Lego Batman Movie
- Logan
- T2: Trainspotting
- Kong: Skull Island
- The Belko Experiment
- Guardians of the Galaxy: Volume 2
- Alien: Covenant
- King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
- Wonder Woman
- Spider-Man: Homecoming
- Dunkirk
- Blade Runner 2049
- Justice League
- Thor: Ragnarok
- Star Wars: Episode VIII
Though much of this list will be inevitably underwhelming, no doubt.
Still, the world of cinema will spin on until we all die.
HERE'S TO 2017
